Stupid Texas Song

Texas is a big state, north to south and east to west
Alaska doesn’t really count, we’re bigger than the rest
You can waltz across it, though, so grab your yellow rose
And sing another song of Texas, this is how it goes

One more stupid song about Texas
For miles and miles it rambles on
Biggest egos, biggest hair, biggest liars anywhere
Let’s sing another stupid Texas song

By God we’re so darn proud to be from Texas - yahoo!
Even of our pride we’re proud and we’re proud of that pride, too
Our pride about our home state is the proudest pride indeed
And we’re proud to be Americans, until we can secede

One more stupid song about Texas
You’ve heard it all before so sing along
Biggest belt buckles and boasts, love that big old Texas toast
Let’s sing another stupid Texas song

Our accents are the drawliest, our howdies are the y’alliest
Our lone star flag’s the waviest, our fried steak’s the cream-graviest
Our rattlesnakes the coiliest, our beaches are the oiliest
Our politicians most corrupt, our stop signs most abrupt

Our guitars are the twangiest, our guns are the kablangiest
Our cattle the long-horniest, our yodels the forlorniest
Our cookoffs are the chiliest, our Waylon is the Williest
Our sausage is the smokiest, our neighbors are the Okiest

From Texarkana to El Paso, Dalhart down to Orange
Every spot in Texas has got what you’re looking for
Aren’cha glad that Texas put the stars up in the sky
If heaven isn’t Texas, pardner, I don’t want to die

One more stupid song about Texas
Just ’cause we’re braggin’, that don’t mean it’s wrong
Biggest heads and biggest hearts, biggest various body parts
Let’s sing another stupid Texas song

Toss your hats into the air, we’re obnoxious, we don’t care
Let’s sing another stupid Texas song

One more blusterin’, bumptious, bald faced, brazen
High flown, high-tone, dander-up, panderin’
Pompous, puffed-up, snotty, swaggerin’
Stupid Texas song